


Yellow Journalism

by quiet__tiger



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Drama, Gen, Humor, Identity Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 08:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10850001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiet__tiger/pseuds/quiet__tiger
Summary: It's not easy being Batman.





	Yellow Journalism

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Character."
> 
> Originally posted to Livejournal 16th-Feb-2012.

The secret to not becoming so immersed in one’s crime fighting identity that one cannot escape it--become so absorbed as to lose oneself entirely--is to, in fact, have several crime fighting identities.

A night out as Matches Malone was not only informative, but it gave Bruce a chance to shake off being Batman for a short time. He got to interact with people, hone his personal skills, and save his body from a night of swinging around the city while encased in armor.

He encouraged his protégés to create characters and aliases for themselves, either ones he did know or didn’t know. To know Dick and Tim were out spreading their influence and gathering intel as Chester Honeywell and Alvin Draper was a relief.

Having additional monikers alleviated some of the pressure of leading their double lives. They were other outlets.

Each one carefully designed for specific purposes. Batman was the enigmatic threat, Malone used for the gangs.

Carefully orchestrated.

Which is why the gossip rags claiming Batman was having an affair with Poison Ivy were so utterly galling.

“Alfred, they say I’m spending inordinate amounts of time with Ivy, and doing illicit things while doing so. That criminally insane woman! I should sue for defamation of character!”

It was clear Alfred was trying not to roll his eyes, which meant he truly was exasperated with Bruce. “And you care what those ‘rags’ say why? Half the time they don’t seem certain you even exist.”

“Which is why these stories of trysts with Ivy and Two-Face are all the more infuriating!” Bruce threw the paper down in disgust, then picked it up again to jab a finger at a fuzzy photograph. “I was putting her hands in bonds so she would stop trying to direct her plants to strangle me. I was attempting to stop her from destroying the power plant—why I am I the subject of a story about kinky criminal games?”

“Because there is not enough real news for this town. Or perhaps because the citizens need ludicrous fluff such as this to distract them from the grim realities of living in Gotham.”

“So we need garbage like this to keep the people happy?”

“Something like that.”

“All my work, all of my team’s work, to protect this city, and this is what I get. Nice.” Maybe the people didn’t need his damn help. See what they thought about that. But if he didn’t protect the city, then who knew what rumors might pop up? It was a cruel world.

“Cheer up, Master Bruce. At least this will shift attention from the fabrications of Batman and Robin.”

Wincing in memory of _that_ celebrity trash debacle, Bruce grumbled, “I bet Superman doesn’t have to deal with this nonsense.“


End file.
